Sunday, June 12, 2016

Make  Me  New  Again . . .

Hello to you dear friends and visitors!  So happy you could join me~ 

I took a drive in the Rocky Mountains a few week ago and want to share  photo's, yes, but also a small 'epiphany'  I had  as I surveyed  some of the areas that were damaged by fire and flood over the last few years - here in Colorado~

I very much had my husband on my mind as I drove into the higher elevations : ) and of course it was bittersweet; having just had the 1.5 year anniversary of his death : (
As I sped along I began to notice the fire-scared and flood-scared areas.  It was a sad site to see.
These 'pencil and tooth pick' trees standing in patches and looking so forlorn~


And in a melancholy and vulnerable moment;  I felt like part of the scenery~  I'm sure Not uncommon after 35 years of marriage and loosing your guy, your heartbeat, - to maybe feel a little like a dead tree? Wouldn't you agree?
Here I was on a beautiful morning in the Mountains of Colorado, blue sky, warm sun, cruising with the moon roof open -  with "no place to go and all day to get there" - Good music and a yummy coffee,  and me,  feeling like a dead tree.  Wowzer.   But I will say in my defense : J  that I've been here many many times before and with the grace of God have grieved it through and risen above.
It IS a process and it just takes time.  And lots of it.

But as I journeyed on,  I started noticing something else; something more in the background and not so 'pronounced.'  Signs of HOPE.  Little green signs of hope!

Many of the burned and flooded areas were starting to re-build themselves!  In amongst the desolate trees was signs of new life~  New green shoots and saplings were popping up all around!  and replenishing the landscape.

And that got me thinking.  Thinking about MY landscape.  It's burned and it's scarred right now, no doubt,  & reminded me of a line from a song by Twila Paris:
"...she hated to think about the past, almost as much as she hated to think about the future..."
Yea I know those words are a little extreme - but they came to me anyway.  It's just so hard. 

But friends,  - - - those green trees kept flying by my window whispering hope and life.
And I realized that this is the beginning; albeit the 'beginning of what is left for my life,'  it is still the beginning!and that is reason to be thankful, reason to celebrate (amid my grief) and reason to hope for less ache, and more peace.
 I don't think I'm allowed (legally anyway : ) to write out these lyrics; so here is a link to the words of a song by Sara Groves titled "Less Like Scars"  for you to read and listen if you chose.

While I may only see this:
 Or feel like this:

I know my Creator, my Deliverer and the One who cares for me,  sees this:
and this:

and hopefully, eventually,  this : )

There is a scripture passage in the book of Jeremiah that says:
Jeremiah 29:11-13
11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected (good) end.
12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

This reminds me that He has hope for me.  Healing and restoration and plans for my life!  And though my dreams for the future are different than they've ever been; I do still have dreams. : )
So I will watch my 'landscape' change in the coming years : ) 

and where will it lead, stretching out to the unknown?
Well, I shall see : ) LOL!
But I know it will be 'good'  for me~
And I will continue to "look to the Hills from where comes my help!
My help comes from the Lord."
Here is what I see, when I think of Him!
Thanks for listening dear kind friends! 
I just needed to talk~
May you have a wonderful new week ahead.
Hugs to you,  Karen


  1. What a beautiful post, Karen. I love your photos and the way you have used them to illustrate your feelings. I pray that things will get better for you, and I have faith that they will. Much love to you, dear friend. Sue

  2. Hi Karen , Your post today really touched me ! You are so well designed it and wrote down your thoughts so honestly ! It's hard to lose very difficult loved ones ! I understand very well what you mean !
    My husband is still alive , but we have in the past 1.5 years my husband's father (now 2 months ago ) lost and my husband's stepfather . We both had very , very much and had such a good relationship and always had some very good conversations with each other , and so these losses outweigh still very difficult for me and my husband .
    You do not like to believe in the moment of the loss , but life goes on - but it will never be the same again , even though the sun will shine again and green life again and blossom ! I think quite firmly to you and send you very warm greetings from faraway Austria! Sylvia

  3. Dear Karen, you expresses yourself so beautifully!!
    And even you still feel heart broken and so sad, because of the loss of your husband , I also see the hope and smiles growing inside you, for you to have another kind of happy future, when you will enjoy your life with your family and friends, and the grief will be less ,but never the love .
    Your photos are stunning my friend, and so heart warming to see nature herself, taking care of the healing after the catastrophes !!! Soon , in some years it will all be green again and so will your heart I believe, Karen .
    Warm hugs from Dorthe

  4. This just touches my heart, Karen. Nature teaches us so much. I am so sorry for your grief. And so glad that you can manage to find some peace blossoming around it. Blessings to you.

  5. Sweet Karen, what a precious and touching post. You brought tears to my eyes, dear one.

    I am so sorry for your pain and I wish I could give you a big hugs right now. But what a testimony you have as you trust the Lord. There is hope, healing, and joy found in Him and I am praying you will continue to find that in the arms of our Lord.

    Thinking of you, dear one. Sending love and hugs your way!

  6. I am glad you feel you can share this with us.... I know it is good to talk (write) it out, when you first started writing and saying how you felt I immediately thought of how everything is renewed after a fire and was so glad that you saw that too on your journey. So thankful you know the Lord and his promises he has for us, that he will be our strength through these times and that there will be hard times in this life, but he will see us through. Sending Hugs to you and pray that the days continue to be brighter every day that passes!!

  7. Dear Karen,
    Tears did come to my eyes as I read your post. I have had similar feelings though I could never in a million years express them so well. The metaphor of being a burned down tree or forest is so poignant. Loss is so sad, so draining... Wishing you many signs of new life(green) and rejuvenation as you continue on in your journey. Your dear husband is with you.

  8. Wonderful blog post. Loved the pictures and your story. Thank you for sharing!

  9. Dearest Karen, Your words just touch my heart because I know they come from deep within yours. Your analogy of how you feel is so moving and so well said. I think God is speaking to you through your thoughts and journey. Your photos say it all. I know God will show you the way and you will follow. My prayers will be with you as you find that new path. Blessings always dear one! xo

  10. Not sure how I missed this post but I am so glad I finally got here. Your post really touches my heart and I am so glad that you found hope in amongst the desolation. Your faith in the Lord will get you there Karen .. wherever your 'there' may be, and I pray it will come soon and that it will make you delirously happy, because you deserve that. You have such a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings and God Bless. xx

  11. Hi Karen,
    A beautiful analogy - I've been feeling like a dead tree, too, but for different pain-filled reasons. You might like the mindfulness book and cd I mentioned in my blogpost here:

    It's really helped me to leave behind the past, not worry about the future, and embrace the present moment, accepting the pain too. Time does heal. Be gentle with yourself.

  12. Your drive that you have captured in the view that you see from your heart is quite touching, Karen.
    I appreciated what you shared and the hope you passed on at the end of your analogy, beautifully written.

    May the Lord continue to heal your hurting heart and bring you comfort during those lonely times.
    1.5 years...Bless your dear heart.

    You are loved~~